


Heart Of Stone

by sambharsobs



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Romance, THEY ARE LESBIANS ZAGREUS, i refuse to tag this crack because im right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sambharsobs/pseuds/sambharsobs
Summary: She's the most beautiful Megagorgon Roxanne has ever seen. She's a Dire Skullcrusher and she's made of stone, but that just means they make a good couple.(Asphodel mini-boss Megagorgon/Dire Skullcrusher. I'm right, and you all are just cowards.)
Relationships: Megagorgon/Dire Skullcrusher
Comments: 42
Kudos: 56





	Heart Of Stone

Asphodel, unlike Tartarus, doesn't restrict travel within the realm.

Well, when there's magma everywhere, how does one travel? Luckily, Roxanne is a Dire Skullcrusher, and so it's easy for her to move about, as long as she crashes down for a break now and then.

It's on one such stroll does Roxanne see  _ her _ .

She's the most beautiful gorgon Roxanne has ever seen, with pink hair and blue eyes. She's in a large, unattended chamber right in the middle of Asphodel, and she looks…

...really sad, actually. And very lonely.

So Roxanne approaches her with a bright, "Hi, there!"

The Megagorgon freezes, and turns her back to Roxanne. "W-Who goes there?!"

"I came to say hi. Welcome to Asphodel, strager!"

The Megagorgon relaxes, if only a little bit. "H-Hello. Um...you should leave."

"Oh, are you worried about the looking-will-turn-me-to-stone thing?" Roxanne laughs. "Don't worry, I'm already, you know, made of stone. I’m a big hit with the gorgon heads."

"O-Oh." Slowly, the Megagorgon turns. Her eyes aren't blue, they're green, Roxanne realises, with beautiful flecks of deep verdant. "Hello…"

Roxanne keeps the smile on her face, while everything inside her screams. "Hello! What's your name, stranger?"

"Sthen- _ aaah _ , ah, um, Tina."

She ignores the suspicious behaviour. "Tina, then! Nice to meet you. My name is Roxanne, but everyone just calls me Roxy."

Tina smiles, and Roxanne is grateful she isn't made of sedimentary rock, else she would crumble to sand right there. "Hi, Roxy."

They talk for maybe hours. This is the Underworld, and time is an illusion, after all. Roxanne learns that Tina's a recent addition to the security staff, she's apparently very strong, and that she likes knitting.

Roxanne has no idea what that is. What she is sure of, though, is that she really likes Tina.

-

Roxanne approaches Tina's chamber nervously.

Today, she's going to ask her out on a date. Asphodel may not have all the flowers and greenery that Elysium has, but the searing heat and incredible number of rock formations means that they do have plenty of gemstones.

In her mouth is a bright green gemstone. Maybe Tina'd like it and agree on going on a date with her, hopes Roxanne. If she's not too grossed out with it coming out of her mouth. Roxanne's got no hands, see.

“Hello, Roxy,” smiles Tina.

“‘Ehho,” grins Roxanne, love-struck. The gemstone slips out of her mouth and falls onto a pile of bones in the chamber. Roxanne winces at the loud, echoing clatter.

“What’s this?” One of her snaky hairs scoops up the gemstone. “Oh, Roxy. This is beautiful.”

“Oh, um. It’s for you.”

“Really?” Tina’s eyes sparkle as brightly as the gemstone when she nods. “Thank you, Roxy.”

She knows this is the perfect segue into asking her on a date, but the funny irony is that Roxanne is petrified from Tina’s beautiful smile. She’s made of skull, for Pete’s sake. This should not be a problem.

The seconds tick by, and the window of asking has long passed. Roxanne struggles to get her stones together. But before she can say anything, Tina nervously chimes in.

“I...I don’t have anything for you in return.”

“Oh, th-that’s okay. Um. I, uh…” Roxanne’s voice rasps away.

Tina looks at her through her beautiful, long eyelashes.

“If...If you don’t mind, maybe I could...could repay you by having you over tomorrow? There’s not much to do here, but I was thinking that we could, um, watch the Phlegethon together?”

Oh.

_ Oh! _

“Yes!” shouts Roxanne, a bit too loudly. A nearby pillar crashes down. But Roxanne ignores it, because she needs to say the word, else it’ll be just platonic and Roxanne really,  _ really  _ likes Tina. “Date!”

“Huh?”

“I-I meant. It’s a date.” Suave, cool, chill.

“Oh.” And to Roxanne’s absolute surprise, Tina blushes. It’s the most beautiful thing Roxanne’s ever seen, and one of her brothers has a suit made of gemstones. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Roxanne floats out of the chamber with a big, stupid grin on her face. Tomorrow.

-

Tomorrow is today, and she’s borrowed some of Cousin Cliff’s Stone Shiner to make herself look good. She’s got another gemstone - pink, this time - in her mouth, and she’s all set to impress.

She walks into the chamber, ready to woo the socks off Tina - no, wait, that doesn’t work - but is left stunned by the Megagorgon in question.

Tina’s combed back her hair into a stylish top-knot, the snake-heads peeping out fashionably. She’s drawn thin, black lines with what Roxanne assumes is soot to bring out the brightness in her eyes, and she’s blushing again.

Be still, her non-existent heart.

They stand and hover respectively by the Phlegethon, and Roxanne does her best to make Tina laugh. She wants to hear that divine sound again.

“...I mean, we’re not as intense as Elysium, but we’re pretty strict about security. We like strong folks, down here.”

“And are you considered as one?”

“Me?” If Roxanne could puff out her chest proudly, she would. “I’ll have you know that I’m on the Bone Hydra’s backup list. So, yeah, I’m pretty strong.”

Tina giggles. “I bet you use that line on all the gorgons.”

“N-No, I don’t.”

“Didn’t you say you’re a hit with all the gorgon heads here?”

“I mean, I am. Not like that, no, I’m, uh. A good person. Not a womaniser. Charming, but not. Adulterous.”

She finally laughs, and Roxanne grins with her. The sound echoes off the walls and reverberates within her matrix.

“You are very charming,” she whispers at least.

Her perfect green eyes fall on Roxanne’s firm lips, and this is her chance. So she leans in just as Tina does, shaking and so close-

All the alarm bells ring.

“Are you fu-”

“Intruder!” says Tina, and turns to see a fiery-footed man approaching.

They make eye contact, and the intruder says, “...Dusa?”

At the name, Tina screams, all the snakes on her head hissing angrily, teeth sharpening and elongating. They tremble and stick out of her skull with a righteous fury, and her skin turns scaly and sharp.

“Intruder,” hisses Tina, and the sound makes Roxanne shiver.

It’s pretty hot.

_ Focus! _

“I’ll help,” she says, and vanishes up to the ceiling.

Looking down at the poor shade who thought trespassing was a good idea, Roxanne can’t help but feel a twinge of anger. She better crush this twink quickly and get the smooch they were leading up to earlier.

-

It takes them a little longer that Roxanne first thought.

The shade is strong, wielding a blood-red sword and smelling of the Olympian Gods. But Roxanne’s gone up against them once, a long time ago, so she knows most of their tricks.

Tina freezes him in place, offering Roxanne a perfect window to crush him underneath her.

After a tight battle, where Tina nearly collapsed after his relentless assaults against her, the shade dissolves into nothingness, and they win.

Roxanne crashes down beside Tina hurriedly, and is grateful that a tendril goes around her rocky form for support.

“Are you okay, there?”

“Y-Yes. He’s strong.”

“Well, so are you.” Roxanne grins at Tina’s weak giggle. “Guess I’m not the only strong monster here, huh?”

Tina looks at her then, and Roxanne is struck by how close she is, and how green her eyes are. There’s intent in them, and it freezes Roxanne in place.

“We make a good team,” she breathes, at last.

“Yeah.”

And finally, Tina kisses her.

-

They’re assigned together after that, because even Lord Hades agrees on their synergy.

That makes every night date night, Roxanne supposes.

She brings Tina gemstones each time.

**Author's Note:**

> WAKE UP SAPPHICS
> 
> My [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sadsambharsobs)!


End file.
